A Visit to Balmoral Castle

The Cabinet met a week ago to mark a sad occasion, the passing of Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II. While the group held a range a views regarding the legacy of the monarchy as an institution, we were all agreement that Elizabeth, as an individual, was a remarkable person with many admirable qualities, and, moreover, a constant presence in our lives whose sudden absence feels surreal. 

We were also in agreement that it would have been lovely to have been invited to Balmoral Castle during her reign, perhaps especially so when Philip was still alive. We may be wrong, but he just seemed the sort that one could enjoy a dram or two with and expect to be treated to a biting anecdote or an off-colour joke. It's easy to assume that a visit to Balmoral with Charles, now King, would be less interesting, but if you survive to the end of this longwinded post, I've cut-and-pasted part of an article from Whisky Mag that may just change your mind. I was pleasantly surprised and I expect you will be too.

But back to Balmoral with Liz and Phil. 

The Queen was a steady tippler, with her favourite being a Dubonnet (a sweet spiced and fortified wine) and gin cocktail. She also enjoyed martinis, champagne - especially at dinner - and the occasional snort of whisky. 

Which brings us to our Cabinet fantasy visit. 

Picture us arrayed around the big stone hearth. The seven of us are squashed on two couches. Elizabeth is in the overstuffed wingback to our left, and Philip is in a dark brown leather club chair to our right. The corgis are snoring by the fire. Perhaps a piper is playing in the distance, but that's probably too much. More likely the soundscape is the aforementioned snoring of corgis, the loud ticking of clocks, and Elizabeth sniping at Philip for not having insisted on the better glassware for our visit. Oh, and it's late evening and it's raining steadily outside. The castle is damp and chilly, but the fire is lovely.

And so is the whisky. First we are served a Royal Lochnagar 12 year old. Yes, "Royal". It was give the royal warrant by Queen Victoria herself soon after she and Albert settled on Balmoral as their summer home. They had been delighted to discover that not only did they get a castle with an enormous estate, but right next door there was distillery. Right next door! 

We all nod and smile and say nice things about the scotch, but in comparing notes later on the drive to our cheap hotel in Braemar, we agree that it was simply fine. Not bad. Not great. Fine. 

Then Philip flashes us a crooked grin and directs the servant (kilt, black jacket, silent as a tombstone) to reveal the next bottle, which had been hidden under a silver dome. It's the Famous Grouse. Philip laughs and tells us he knows what we're thinking, but this is in fact, what most guests are served when they come up to hunt, and is, in his words, "a fine shooting whisky". He didn't take us for snobs, he says. Snobbery is obnoxious, he says. Then he cracks up and so does Elizabeth. We thank him for the grouse and praise its humble splendour (although later we agree that it is either dull or vile, depending on your mood) while Philip makes shooting noises with the fireplace poker, pretending to blast a grouse at our feet. The corgis are roused and begin barking. 

Elizabeth is irate, "Enough Philip! These gentleman have come a very long way" - consults notes - "from Winn-ee-peg, in anticipation of being served our finest single malt whisky, not to be made sport of by our husband! Bring out the special bottles. You know the ones we mean." Philip looks abashed, bows his head, and makes an obscure hand signal to the servant. Almost instantly two bottles of Bowmore are placed in front of us, the Vault Edition and the 18 Year Old. We beam. We positively beam. Philip chortles. Elizabeth grins. The corgis settle down. This is what we came to Balmoral for. This is why we endured the weather and the security clearances and the long awkward conversation with Andrew who waylaid us in the front hall. We did all this to drink Bowmore with the Windsors. The Vault Edition was splendid and the 18 Year Old was excelsior. (We learned this word from Philip.)

By the end of the evening we were all singing Whisky In The Jar - Philip having  a gravely baritone remarkably like his namesake, Philip Lynott of Thin Lizzy -  and then we wrapped the night up with Auld Lang Syne, all of us swaying arm in arm.

What a night. 

(Editor's note: the whiskies mentioned are based on research of what is actually served at Balmoral. The rest is plausible conjecture).

Slainte!

From Whisky Magazine, hope for our new king:

When it comes to the Prince’s favourite nectar, it’s a peaty Islay single malt that pours from his hip flask. Whether he is shooting, hunting or skiing he always carries a flask and finds that the smoky kick of Laphroaig or Bruichladdich gives him the necessary boost when HRH is battling through the blizzards in Klosters or riding through the rain with the Beaufort Hunt. His official visit to Laphroaig in 1994 was well documented at the time but the column inches were not filled so much with details of his fascination with the mash tuns as his unfortunate aeroplane crash. Charles overshot the runway attempting to land His private plane on Islay - this left the plane so badly damaged that he was unable to fly it back home to Highgrove. As a result, what was supposed to be a quick, 20-minute flying visit turned into a two-and-a-half hour extended stay - much to the delight of the distillery manager Iain Henderson, who recalls his visit fondly. “He arrived with his private secretary Richard Ayling and detective Colin Tinning. They were a bit late because of the accident. I took His Royal Highness on a tour of the distillery and he was very impressed with his knowledge. He asked all the right questions and seemed to be enjoying himself. My wife Carole prepared lunch. He wanted a buffet because there wasn’t going to be time for a proper sit down. So he walked around with a dram in one hand and a plate in the other. He had asked to meet all the workers and their wives. He seemed genuinely interested in everyone and everything, and then said to me: ‘I think this is a great place. I like the fact that you follow the traditional methods. Do not let anyone change it.’”